How to Become More Extroverted

Nobody’s 100 percent introverted or extroverted. We all have tendencies of both personality types lurking inside us, and there are pros and cons to each. In the business world, however, embracing your inner extrovert could be a game changer for your professional relationships. 

Becoming more of an extrovert can help you better engage current and potential customers, and it can help you foster stronger connections with employees and improve company communication. Learn more about these benefits and get advice from psychologists and business counselors on how to become more extroverted.

How do you become an extrovert?

Although you may inherently be more introverted, it’s not impossible to become more extroverted (or vice versa).

“There appears to be a more nuanced and dynamic nature of extroversion,” said Silvia Russen, a business psychologist and doctoral researcher at City, University of London. “Rather than seeing extroversion as purely fixed, research acknowledges that personality can be influenced, at least to some extent, by intentional behavior changes, social contexts, and personal development efforts.”

Although there are no exact steps to take to become an extrovert, the experts that business.com spoke with shared tips on how to do it easier, faster, and more naturally.

1. Get a home-field advantage.

graphic of people at a bar sitting on stools

Brian Smith, an organizational psychologist and the founder of IA Business Advisors, said becoming more extroverted “starts with a mindset shift.”

“Begin by recognizing the situations where you feel most comfortable engaging with others and gradually push those boundaries,” he said.

Introverts are usually most comfortable in their own surroundings, so, if you can swing it, host personal and professional events on your home turf as often as possible. That may be a farewell dinner at your favorite restaurant, a home-cooked meal at your house for a date, or a company happy hour at your go-to lounge.

It will help you begin to associate other people with those surroundings, and it gives you a safe space to practice talking with others, listening to group conversations, and learning about others’ interests. Every gathering is practice that will help you become more comfortable conversing with others. That lets you learn how to better communicate with people. The best place to do that is where you feel most secure, especially in the beginning.

2. Set specific goals.

Don’t just set the vague goal of becoming more extroverted or outgoing. Create specific goals that can lead you there. It’s OK if they’re smaller goals at first. A goal may be:

  • Complimenting someone on a project
  • Responding to a colleague with more than one word
  • Making weekly lunch plans with a new strategic partner

Smith encouraged an incremental approach. Tackling small goals that take you out of your comfort zone can get you closer to reaching your overarching goal of becoming more extroverted.

An ABBYY and Sapio Research study of 1,200 workers found that 28 percent of introverts spotted project failures in early stages, while only 14 percent of extroverts did. “Introversion comes with its own set of superpowers in the business world,” said Amanda Augustine, a career advice expert for TopResume. A successful business will welcome both personality types.

3. Practice, practice, practice.

The more you work your way through the goals you’ve set, the more practice you’re getting. With practice, you make progress. 

“To become more extroverted, recent research suggests focusing on what might be termed ‘behavioral rehearsal,’” Russen said. “Encouraging individuals to practice more outgoing behaviors — such as seeking additional social interactions, sharing opinions more openly, or attending networking events — can gradually shift one’s comfort zone. Over time, repeatedly acting extroverted can lead to changes in self-perception, social skill development, and eventual shifts in trait-level extroversion.”

Every day, you should aim to have a conversation with someone outside of your usual social or workplace circle. It could be the barista at your favorite coffee shop or your bank teller. Ask the person how they’re doing, and continue the exchange with a quick follow-up. It could be as simple as, “What did you think of [current news or topic]?” Then embark on an engaging conversation. 

If someone starts a conversation with you, allow it to continue by asking a question or even throwing out a compliment. Spontaneous conversations can sometimes lead to forming a bond down the line. The more you become accustomed to it, the more likely you’ll be able to do it in networking situations when it’s really needed.

4. Allow recharge time.

person sitting cross-legged meditating

Many introverts agree that although they like (some) people, they also need time to recharge. If you have an occasion coming up when you’ll need to be an extrovert, allow for downtime before and after. That may mean reducing your social interaction in one area of your life in order to increase it in another.

“I’ve seen this with many of my clients, where they found success in planning their social energy expenditure strategically,” said Dr. Raffaello Antonino, a counseling psychologist and senior lecturer at the University of Roehampton in London. “If you know there’s an event that may feel stressful to think about because there will be lots of new faces and people to network with, you can plan some downtime before and after or bring along a trusted colleague as an anchor point.”

Examples of calming activities you can do before a big meeting or a situation in which you know you’ll have to be extroverted include taking a short nap, meditating, or journaling. Those activities can calm your thoughts and help you focus on something else. They also allow your body and mind to have a full charge, which is something many introverts need when going into an extroverted situation. After the event, give yourself time to decompress. That could involve practicing yoga, taking a bath, reading a book, or just going to bed early.

Scheduling regular periods of downtime can help business owners be more engaged when they’re on the clock. Business.com’s guide to determining when to take a vacation can help you figure out the balance between fulfilling company needs and practicing self-care.

5. Join Toastmasters or another speaking group.

Is public speaking your biggest challenge? Join a formal group, such as Toastmasters International, where you’ll have a supportive network and opportunities to overcome that hurdle. Besides working on your speaking skills, joining an organization like this is a great way to network and make new business connections.

With Toastmasters or similar groups, you will be asked to stand up and speak regularly. It will help you become a better speaker in front of people and improve your ability to think clearly while in public situations. The more you get up and speak in front of others, the more comfortable you’ll become with it.

“In the business world, there will be numerous occasions where you have to publicly speak,” said John Rampton, a public speaking expert. “The more you’re used to this, the better it will be for you and your business. For me, this has proved very valuable over the years, as I’ve gone from speaking at one event a year to five or six events a month.”

6. Practice saying yes.

Challenge yourself to say yes to any and all invitations for a set period (a month is a good starting point). By forcing yourself into new situations, you’ll be given plenty of opportunities to develop extroverted tendencies.

Introverts often decline invitations to social events due to feeling drained, overwhelmed, or nervous talking with a group of people. But saying yes to invitations or attending events you may normally turn down can increase your social exposure and allow you to practice conversational skills. Clients find business owners more trustworthy when they’re willing to engage more deeply, but you can’t engage if you don’t accept opportunities to socialize.

It isn’t always beneficial to say yes to everything, of course, because a packed schedule can cause burnout, but being more open to regular interaction with others will help your business grow.

7. Give yourself an out.

Does the thought of attending the holiday office party put you in panic mode, even when you’re the boss? Allow yourself an out, such as committing to staying at an event for at least 45 minutes. Just going in with a specific expectation can change your mindset. You may even find that you’d like to stay longer.

That applies to business operations as well. If you have a meeting with a large group of people you’re presenting to, schedule the meeting for just 30 minutes. Setting a specific time frame focuses your brain on being social and outgoing for that period, and anything over that time is simply a bonus accomplishment. It also helps you track how long you will be extroverted on a given day.

8. Follow the 10 percent rule.

Antonino advocates for “social snacking,” where you take “small, manageable bites of social interaction throughout the day.” Slowly increasing your socialization will make it easier and more automatic over time. 

As part of those efforts, he recommends embracing the 10 percent rule.

“[Push] slightly — say 10 percent — beyond your comfort zone in social settings,” Antonino said. “Just enough to grow, but not enough to overwhelm.”

It’s not enough to just put yourself out there. You should aim to learn from the experience, too, and adjust accordingly. “After social engagements, reflect on what felt natural and what stretched you,” Smith said. “Use those insights to guide your next steps.” That adaptability is an essential business skill that owners need to master.

9. Know where to stand.

graphic of people mingling in a breakroom

In a networking or party environment, do you hug the walls or head straight to the refreshment station and stay there? Think of the extroverts you know: You probably won’t spot any of them stationary or hanging back against walls. Instead, they typically stand in the middle of the room and are open to conversations with the people around them.

“It can … help to identify a few people you know — in and out of the office — who are naturally extroverted and observe them during social events and other situations that make the introvert in you cringe,” Augustine said. “Take careful note of their body language when approaching others, as well as the types of questions they ask to get a conversation started, so you can practice doing something similar.”

10. Pretend you’re playing host.

At a wedding, the newly betrothed are committed to visiting every table, connecting with every person and not staying next to the people they know best. Pretend you’re hosting every event you attend, and talk to as many guests as possible. You should do that in business situations, at networking events, and even during family gatherings. After all, practice leads to progress.

11. Practice active listening.

The most fascinating people are usually the best listeners, and that’s where introverts can excel, since they’re often gifted listeners. Ask questions, offer follow-ups, and show genuine interest in what others are saying. You’re unlikely to build a strong sales team, close sales, or win customers over the phone without being good at verbal and nonverbal communication.

“Being extroverted isn’t just about speaking — it’s about being fully present and responsive in interactions,” Smith said.

12. Brush up on current events.

If you’re heading to an event, do a quick scan of the top news stories of the day. That will ensure you’re up to date on current events and have something to bring up in conversation. You also want to appear informed if someone mentions a hot topic to you.

13. Pinpoint the icebreakers in the room.

Whether it’s a person’s interesting jewelry or the most eclectic item in a silent auction, identify a few things that are icebreakers and use them to your advantage. When you’re with a potential business partner, for example, you may decide to make icebreaker comments about things they’re wearing or carrying, such as a purse or briefcase. That can help eliminate the stress most introverts feel when going into a situation that requires them to be more extroverted.

14. Stay off your phone.

graphic of a pair of hands holding a smartphone

This can be a huge challenge for introverts and extroverts alike, because business owners often have notifications and messages coming in constantly. A phone can also become a security blanket in a detrimental way if it gives you an out from having a conversation with someone or an excuse for not responding. People probably won’t want to talk to you if you look busy. This is unprofessional, and it can make the other person feel unheard and frustrated. 

If possible, leave your phone in your bag or your car to avoid the temptation of using it as a crutch in environments where you should be focused on engaging with others.

15. Have a few anecdotes at your fingertips.

Whenever you’re expected to engage with people, have appropriate jokes and anecdotes at the ready. If you’re attending an industry event, look up a few related fun facts or recent news stories that attendees will find interesting. These are great icebreakers and will help you relax during a potentially stressful situation.

It’s not easy to shift your mindset and natural tendency to avoid extroversion, but it’s doable. The more you put these tips to use, the better it will be for your leadership and business.

Extroversion is a good way to inspire and motivate your team — and it can even come in handy during a business crisis. “With their outward energy and confidence, extroverts can uplift those around them, helping to maintain momentum and positivity even in challenging circumstances,” Smith said.