5 Skills Every Parent Should Hone for Their Teens

Because parenting teens is a whole new ball game

Photo by cottonbro studio: https://www.pexels.com/photo/a-young-woman-using-a-laptop-beside-her-mother-6470988/

Let’s be real—parenting a toddler is exhausting, but parenting a teenager? That’s a whole different kind of challenge. One minute they want your advice, the next minute they’re rolling their eyes like you’ve just said the most embarrassing thing in human history.

But here’s the thing: they still need you—maybe now more than ever.

The teenage years are a mix of growing independence, deep questions, identity discovery, and emotional ups and downs. And while we can’t walk every step of their journey for them, we can walk beside them—if we have the right tools.

Here are five essential skills every parent should hone to support and guide their teen through these pivotal years.

1. Active Listening (Not Just Hearing)

Let’s start with a hard truth: Teens don’t always want advice. Sometimes, they just want to be heard.

And not the “uh-huh, that’s nice” kind of hearing. I mean active, distraction-free, judgment-free listening.

Put down your phone. Pause the laundry. Look them in the eyes and give them space to talk—about their day, their drama, their dreams, or even their silence.

Pro Tip: When they open up, resist the urge to “fix” it right away. Instead, try:
“That sounds tough. Do you want me to help or just listen right now?”

That question alone can work miracles.

2. Patience (Even When They’re Being…Well, Teenagers)

Teenagers will test your patience—guaranteed. They’ll push boundaries, challenge your views, and forget everything you told them yesterday.

But behind every eye roll is a kid trying to figure out who they are and where they fit.

Patience gives you the ability to respond instead of react. And when you remain calm in the chaos, you become their anchor in a storm of hormones and social media pressure.

Reminder: They’re growing, learning, and messing up—just like you did.

3. Clear Communication (Without the Lecture Mode)

When your teen hears “We need to talk,” their brain may automatically shut down. So instead of preaching, try short, clear, honest conversations. Keep it real, keep it respectful, and keep it two-way.

Also, be willing to admit when you’re wrong. It builds trust faster than perfection ever could.

Instead of: “You never listen to me!”
Try: “I feel frustrated when we can’t talk calmly. Can we try again in a bit?”

You’re not just raising a teen—you’re modeling healthy adult communication.

4. Encouragement (Way More Than Criticism)

It’s easy to notice the undone chores or the dropped grades. But how often do we stop to notice what they’re doing right?

Teenagers may act like they don’t care what we think, but deep down, they’re still craving approval. Encouragement fuels their confidence—especially when the world around them is full of comparison and criticism.

Say things like:

• “I noticed how kind you were to your sister today.”

• “You handled that situation really maturely.”

• “I’m proud of how you’re growing.”

Celebrate effort, not just outcomes.

5. Faith and Grace (For Them and For You)

Your teen is on a journey—not just to adulthood, but to becoming the person God created them to be. That path is rarely straight. There will be stumbles, doubts, and detours.

So keep your faith strong—not just in them, but in God’s plan for them.

And while you’re at it, extend grace to yourself too. You’re not going to get it right every day. That’s okay. Parenting is sacred work, but it’s also messy, humbling, and holy.

“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” — Proverbs 22:6

Hold on to that promise when the days are hard.

Final Thought

You don’t need to be a perfect parent. You just need to show up, stay soft-hearted, and keep growing right alongside your teen.

By honing these five skills—listening, patience, communication, encouragement, and faith—you’re not just surviving the teenage years… you’re shaping a relationship that can last a lifetime.

And hey, if you need a little help along the way, books like Life Skills for Teens by Veronica Cullen are great tools to walk this journey with your teen—one chapter, one conversation, one lesson at a time.

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